Mocha Moms: Support for stay-at-home moms of color

Last November, Vonetta Booker-Brown and her friend, Nathalie Semon started the ball rolling to form the first Connecticut chapter of Mocha Moms, a support group for women of color who are stay-at-home moms.

The women, both 34, had belonged to another moms' group, but it didn't quite satisfy them, Booker-Brown said. They had heard about Mocha Moms, which had garnered national attention a few years ago on the Oprah show, and when they didn't find an existing chapter in the state, the moms decided to start one. Connecting with other moms like themselves to talk about similar concerns, share common experiences and offer support was important to the women.

"Historically, mothers of color haven't had the opportunity to stay home with our kids financially," said Booker-Brown, of Bridgeport. "A lot of us who have the opportunity to stay home get funny looks from family [who ask], 'Why do you stay home?' "

Officially, the chapter began in May, receiving its charter from the national organization with Booker-Brown, Semon, two friends of Semon's — Mable Keys and Angie Cox — and Natasha Young. (Five members are a minimum requirement.)

Young, who lives in Stratford and is pregnant with her second child, had seen a posting about Mocha Moms at the Six to Six Magnet School in Bridgeport where she takes her son, Xavier, 19 months, to a play group. It piqued her interest.

"I have worked since I was 15 and was looking for a mothers' group and joined a couple," said

Young, 33, a former engineer and high school math teacher. "A lot were not what I was expecting."

As an African-American mother she wanted to talk to other moms who could relate to her concerns, such as her fears about sickle cell anemia, a disease that black males are at high risk for, she said. She also wanted to be part of a group that not only socialized, but did community service, too, and Mocha Moms seemed to fill the bill.

The women meet every Tuesday from 10 a.m. to noon at Six to Six — during the summer recess they meet at each other's homes or at a park — and volunteer at the school. So far, they've helped the school's resource center's coordinator, Suzanne Clement, organize its library and pack reading bags for students, said Young. They're also getting involved in collecting pajamas for an outreach program they heard about on Oprah, said Booker-Brown.

At the meetings, the mothers talk while the kids play together, said Booker-Brown, and once a month they have a "Moms Night Out" when the dads baby-sit and "We do girlfriend things," she said.

Originally from Virginia, Young said she felt isolated when she moved away from family and friends, which is one of the reasons why Mocha Moms started in the first place, said one of its founders, Cheli English-Figaro, 44, of Bowie, Md.

In a recent phone interview, English-Figaro, an attorney, explained the genesis of the organization. She made the decision to stay at home with her first child, Brandon, now 15, to the chagrin of her father, she said. "It was difficult to be at home when you're an African-American mom who has a graduate degree," she said. A military wife living far from family, she said she felt strongly that there was no one she knew who could take care of her child while she went off to work. But, she never lacked friends. With an outgoing personality and through her friend, Joby Dupree, another military wife, she began networking with women who were home-schooling their children and was active with the local La Leche League, a rare thing for a black woman in the 1990s, she said.

In another part of Prince George's County, Md., where English-Figaro lived, two black women, Jolene Ivey and Karla Chutz , were feeling isolated. Ironically, their white friends suggested they start a newsletter and call it Mocha Moms to try to connect with other black women. Ivey had heard about English-Figaro because of her La Leche work, but "I found Jolene and told her she was lonely because she wasn't looking in the right places," said English-Figaro, who had a huge circle of friends she met through church, play groups and home-schooling contacts. The women made a date to meet and English-Figaro introduced Ivey to a dozen of her friends. From the newsletter, which started in May 1997, to this meeting in June, it was a short couple of months until Mocha Moms Inc. was born in the fall of 1997 through the efforts of Ivey, Chutz, English-Figaro and Dupree.

When they started, the response from other women of color was enthusiastic, said English-Figaro.

"Everyone was thrilled and ecstatic," she said. "Many women felt they were alone and they felt no one really understood the challenges when you stay at home.

"For instance, the stereotype is a black woman at home is on welfare," she said. "It's horrible. They [other members in the community] think you're living on the system and you're not."

Women hooked up with other ladies quickly, she added. To date, Mocha Moms has about 125 chapters and 3,000 members. The newest one is in New Orleans, said English-Figaro who helps set up the different chapters. Now, more than 10 years since Mocha Moms started, English-Figaro said, "There's a growth in the community of at-home moms. "Women of all colors are better able to blend part-time employment," she said. "And I think people are more likely to admit they're stay-at-home or work-at-home moms."

Booker-Brown works from home as a copywriter and virtual assistant and designed the local Mocha Moms Web site (mochamomsoffairfieldcounty.com). One of the hot topics the women discuss, she said, is how to balance all their responsibilities "so you don't go crazy," she said.

Raising children, said English-Figaro, is the most important thing a woman can do, but it's not her whole life. "We encourage women to keep their skills up and keep their minds going," she said.

For more information on joining Mocha Moms, Connecticut chapter, call Mable Keys at 231-0110.