Recently, I opened my e-mail inbox and made a startling discovery: I finally had a response from the editors of the Yale Daily News about my application to the summer journalism program. As I read the message's contents, I was crestfallen: I had not been accepted.

I experienced the various stages of disappointment. First, denial. I assumed that my rejection was accidental. The deadline for applications had already been changed once because the information posted on the Web site was inaccurate. I assumed that they had made another careless mistake in rejecting my application. A realization slowly dawned on me: I had underestimated how difficult it was to gain entry to the program. Anything Ivy League-related draws applicants like moths to light bulbs. Finally, acceptance: I realized that my application, despite the hours that I had labored over it, had not been strong enough to gain me admission.

Being rejected from a summer journalism program unnerved me. If I was not considered good enough for this program, what about the internship that I was trying to secure? And, more importantly, what about college? What if my top choices all decided that I was not worthy of acceptance? As I sat frozen with panic, I gradually came to another realization: the coordinators of the program didn't know me. Sure, they knew the basics, the publications that I had written for and been editors of; but they didn't know the things that truly distinguish me from the myriad of high school students

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vying for acceptance. They didn't know that I'm double-jointed, that I've never broken a bone and that I could probably quote "Mean Girls" word-for-word, if I tried. In other words, they had based their decision to reject me on who I am as an applicant, not as a person.

Once I experienced this moment of clarity, I immediately felt better. I realized that I should not take the rejection personally because I had not been evaluated on the basis of my worth as an individual. I will try to keep this epiphany in mind as I begin applying to colleges this fall. Inevitably, I will be rejected (or at least deferred) from schools and will have to deal with this disappointment again. But, next time, I will be better prepared.

Pam Ross of Fairfield is a senior at Hopkins School. New Haven, and an editor of CTTeens. You may reach her at ctteens@ctpost.com