Remember that song from childhood? The sentiment holds true now more than ever. Who would deny that much of our success is based on close and amicable relationships. Now that we are older, we have the privilege of redefining success -- all success, from financial wealth and career achievements to proud families and personal enrichment. We can make our own rules. A person may be money-rich yet friend-destitute. The goal is to be rich in all dimensions. Too many of us, in our climb up the career ladder, have neglected the cultivation of warm friendships and have limited the rewards that such close relationships bring.

In a seminar I recently conducted, we discussed the desirability of friends throughout our life. Carl, an executive, prided himself on his attention to detail, cost cutting skills, and tough, fiscal stewardship. When the discussion focused on friends, Carl had nothing to say. His face took on a blank expression. And during a dialogue about reinventing yourself after employment, he looked positively pained. When asked to contemplate the role that friends play in easing life transitions, Carl realized that he had reached mid life without a single significant relationship. Work was an elixir to him. He was literally addicted to the high that single-minded work gave him. Realizing his imbalance, Carl became eager to amend his extreme isolation. But how to begin?

The following tips are good for Carl - and for many others - to make and keep good

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friends.

Don't take your acquaintances for granted. Make efforts to reach out to others you want to develop as friends.

Be aware of the difference between aloneness and loneliness. Aloneness connotes feeling free and uplifted without company and is necessary up to a point. Loneliness implies the constant need for others and the avoidance of solitude. Are you alone, or lonely?

Before you transition from your job, seek out new social contacts and initiate relationships. Don't allow too much time to pass before connecting with others.

From time to time, email or phone friends and make plans to get together. Be proactive don't wait for someone else to call you. The phone rings both ways!

Make friends with people who are younger -- and older than you -- to cultivate relationships with diverse points of view. Remember: we have lots to learn from people of all ages.

Don't neglect your friends from the past. Remember birthdays and other times significant to them.

Share your experiences about cultivating friends at midlife or savoring relationships from your past. Write to us at joyce@u-wisdom.com.

The opinions expressed are the author's and not necessarily those of connpost.com. Please direct comments to cdauber@ctpost.com.