Spending time with people . . . and alone with yourself . . . are equally important for health and well-being. Keeping up with old, trusted relationships . . .and cultivating new friends . . . are also equally important. Juggling relationships, and staying true to yourself, is sometimes tricky. It's easier now than ever before in history to remain isolated and yet in pseudo-communication. Even people sharing a house have gotten into the bizarre habit of emailing or cell-phoning each other from room to room. Loner-types find it easy to spend evenings in front of the tv, where they carry on a one-sided relationship with their Tivo, cables, DVDs, surround sound system, and the like. Look around there' a definite erosion in the quality of time we spend because of the wonders of technology. Here are some tips on how to befriend yourself and others more consciously.

I. Befriend yourself.

Make time to play with pets and/or be in nature.

Take care of yourself: a long bath, a good meal, etc. (See below for the a nurturing winter soup, compliments of my friend Jane, who also cooks up words for the CT Post [ Blog-a-logue] We just had some soup and wish you could, too).

Set aside time every day for prayer, meditation, contemplation or counting blessings.

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Cultivate hobbies.

Cultivate creativity

Listen to good music.

II. Befriend your friends.

Stay in touch don't let a friendship sag or lag. If you haven't heard from a meaningful person in a while, send a note or give a call. Make a date.

Remember birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. Hint: collect a large number of greeting cards and keep a birthday book. Great combo.

Be spontaneous and flexible. When a friend invites you to the zoo, go!

Being a good friend does not mean abusing boundaries -- theirs or yours.

Be available to help out, whether it's walking a sick friend's dog, or helping a computer-phob understand his PC.

Encourage your friends in every way and don't forget to congratulate them on their achievements.

Be a fair weather friend AND a foul weather friend.

As promised, here is the recipe for:

Jane's Amiable Collage Soup (Does Wonders for Any Relationship)

1. Go to a health food store and buy as many of these organic foods as you can find. (Feel free to modify ingredients and add others of your choice.)

Red lentils
Barley
Onions
Leeks
Carrots
Celery Delicata squash (or other winter squash like kabocha)
Japanese yam
Sweet potato Parsnips
turnips
Cabbage
collards
Dried: fennel seeds, cilantro, basil, chervil, chives, marjoram, tarragon
Wakame seaweed (postage size piece of dried)
Sea salt

2. Fill a BIG stainless steel pot ¾ full of filtered or spring water. Turn the flame high. Chop what needs chopping and add everything to the pot. Cook on low flame for 1½-2 hours. Can reheat the next day. Guaranteed you'll feel wonderful. You may give others a jar of this soup to improve the relationship.

Joyce Cohen is a leading figure in the field of career development and life planning.  She consults with organizations of all sizes and leads seminars on career management, mentoring, learning organizations, creative aging, retirement planning, growth and renewal, and other topics related to successful life planning.

Joyce can be reached at joyce@u-wisdom.com and will answer questions as space permits.

The opinions expressed are the author's and not necessarily those of connpost.com. Comments for Post: Carol Dauber cdauber@ctpost.com