Empty nest syndrome (ENS) was coined in the 70's to describe parents' sense of loss, loneliness, and lack of purpose when their children left home. Back then, women especially were affected by ENS, but now the reverse seems to be true. Men who were at work (and out of the house) while their children were growing up now have more time for their family. But their kids have flown the coop or co-op, as the case may be.

Joyce Cohen can be reached through this website.

The opinions expressed are the author's and not necessarily those of connpost.com. Comments for Post: Carol Dauber If you are missing your fledglings, contemplate the following:

1. How contented are you?
2. How might you prepare for an empty nest of the future? (What projects do you consider, such as volunteering, hobbies, travel, job?)
3. How can you maximize communication with your kids?

UPDATE!

Now, 30 years after ENS was coined, almost 4 million grown children (mid-twenties to mid-thirties), have decided to move back home (2000 census). Some of the reasons for this migration are: to save money, avoid exorbitant rents, save for a home, pay back loans, divorce, need of childcare, adjustment issues, homesickness, etc. This phenomenon is called the “revolving door” or “nest refill.” Parents today are often less than thrilled when their

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children move back home. It is important to define clear boundaries concerning your privacy, space, time, possessions, activities, and funds. When grandchildren are involved, babysitting may become an issue. Make sure that you are comfortable with such an arrangement, and all its hidden complexities, such as carpools, playgroups, medical issues, disciplining, scheduling, and expenses.

ENS is becoming outdated for many reasons. Parents are more involved in their own lives and have a greater sense of individual purpose than in the past. In addition, it is easy now to stay connected through phone cards, affordable air fares, instant messaging, email, and chat rooms. These days, parents spend would-be “empty-nest” time with their own siblings, other relatives and friends. As a midlife transition expert, I meet hundreds of people every year who are experiencing various permutations of the revolving door. A participant in one of my midlife transition workshops talks about her kids this way: “They're always welcome home to visit. They bring great energy and youthfulness with them. But . . . no matter how much I shop, the fridge is another kind of empty nest. The phone rings off the hook, and I still worry when they're out late. So, as much as I love it when they arrive, I love it just as much when they leave!”