Rarely does one find business advice while tuning in to Easy Listening Radio stations, but just such an occasion occurred earlier this month. While I was being shuttled from the rental car lot to the terminal at a distant airport, the driver was whistling along with the song playing on the radio. The song was instantly recognizable, if not exactly identifiable as he whistled off key to Elton John's song, "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word."

Its Sad, So Said

As I listened to other riders on the shuttle that were traveling together bemoan how they had failed to convince their prospect of the worthiness of their product over their competition's offering, it seemed that their conversation was almost mirroring the sentiment contained within the song. The lyrics to the song include the following words:

Its sad, so sad. It's a sad, sad situation - and its getting more and more absurd. Its sad, so sad, why can't we talk it over. Oh it seems to me that sorry seems to be the hardest word.

As I eavesdropped on their chat, it seemed that the group had descended upon this city to try to save what was a doomed proposal because the company of the shuttle riders had ignored early warning signs of a likely delivery problem with the product. Rather than admit they had over-promised or extended their production department's capacity to meet the timeline required, they put up excuse after excuse, until the client finally lost confidence and went with a

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competitor that was able to meet the desired timeframes.

What the shuttle riders failed to realize was that in many ways, the problem was of their own making. Had they initially owned up to their company's pressures and apologized, they would have been able to do one of two things:

1. Possibly re-negotiate the delivery time based on a more reasonable timeline that they would be able to meet.

2. If the client was unable to accept that and had to have product on the initial timeline, the company could have at least come off as honest, trustworthy, and professional by allowing the client to know as early on in the process as possible.

Instead, the shuttle riders were looking for others to blame, individuals to hold culpable, and people to tar and feather for their own mistake. While, it is not absolute that they could have saved the sale by apologizing for their inability to deliver on-time, they certainly could have prevented the detonation of the relationship. Reading between the lines of what likely occurred in their meetings with their prospective client, the only orders they came away with after their discussion was; get out and stay out!

Making It Personal

As I listened to the group play the Blame Game with each other and refuse to take ownership for their role in losing the sale, I remembered that I had some unfinished business that was heading down a similar path as the shuttle riders' situation. Working with other consulting agencies in an attempt to provide a long-term client of mine with a comprehensive solution that was only partially in my own area of expertise, I had allowed other members of the newly formed team to assume more control of the process than I ideally should have under ordinary circumstances. Much to my chagrin, the client expressed dissatisfaction with the other agencies and their ability to express their capabilities in a way that the client felt comfortable enough to hire us for a large scale project. Initially feeling that this was more a reflection on the other agencies than my own contribution, I chose to not address the situation with my client and just move past it as if it had not occurred.

However, something just did not feel right in the way it ended. Whether it was intuition, or some other insight I was picking up on, I sensed that the client was unhappy with not only the assembled team, but with me directly. As much as I made excuses for myself to myself and forgave myself for stretching past what was really within my normal and customary business offerings, I still felt uneasy. It was at that point that self defensive measures began to kick-in. No longer accepting responsibility for my own shortcoming, I started to think less of the client (well, if he did not choose us, then he must clearly be unable to recognize talent).

It was jarring to hear the group on the shuttle sharing client insults with each other and seeing my own actions in theirs. Once I got off the shuttle and was able to place a phone call, I called the client and said those very difficult words - "I am sorry, I recognize that we collectively, and I personally missed the signals you were providing us that we were off course and I want to ask permission to be allowed to re-present to you."

The client did not wish to revisit the project proposal at this time, but did express appreciation that I had admitted the failing and was taking responsibility for it and offering to improve. While this project was no longer viable, the conversation did end with his offering to allow me to bid on a future project that was soon to be budgeted. He shared that had I not called, he was seriously thinking of not offering me the chance to even be considered for that project.

Turning The Tables

In the majority of interactions with clients, it is incumbent upon the service or product provider to meet the needs of the customer and to apologize when things do not go as planned. However, that is not always the case, and occasionally the customer must bear responsibility for things not progressing as anticipated, and being willing to apologize for their mistake.

Not too long ago, I had signed to do a project that required working with different regional offices. As the client was looking to minimize costs on travel, and I was looking to consolidate the project's timing to free up future time for other projects, I offered to fly from the West Coast and make my way back to the East Coast visiting multiple locations along the way all within the same week. After scheduling and arranging for each visit, the Tuesday of the project week, the client contact informed me that the Friday meeting would have to be postponed as the group was not ready for the meeting.

When confronted with the news, I had a few choices of how to respond:

1. OK, no problem. We will do it when they are ready. - If I take this approach, I lose the ability to sell the future dates to other clients and also lose the synergies of being able to consolidate the work into one week and complete the project on a timely basis. Additionally, the message sent by agreeing is that my time is less important than their time.

2. That is your problem, a deal is a deal. - Obviously, if I try to go to war and enforce the contract as written, nobody wins and certainly there would not be opportunity for future business.

3. I understand the situation and am willing to work with you to renegotiate our agreement. - By taking this approach, I am sympathetic and recognize the unforeseen circumstance, but also reassert the nature of the relationship.

Once I chose the third option, the client was able to offer an apology for having created the havoc with the schedule and we were able to reschedule for future dates with a small increase in fees to handle the lost day of consulting work consumed by their cancellation. In this instance, by apologizing to me for having inconvenienced me, they effectively neutralized me into nearly acquiescing to any request of theirs. It would be poor form for a consultant or any service provider to challenge or confront a current and prospective customer when they are offering to make good in the future and accepting responsibility for their causing the problem.

Elton John may have had it right when he crooned about the word, sorry, being difficult to mouth, but when used effectively, it can actually serve to open doors that might have been closed if the word was not uttered. To deny the power of a heartfelt "sorry" is truly more and more absurd!

David Zahn is a serial entrepreneur and consultant to Fortune 100 businesses (www.zahnconsulting.com) as well as entrepreneurial startups (www.startupbuilder.com).

The opinions expressed are the author's and not necessarily those of connpost.com. Please direct comments to cdauber@ctpost.com.